blast from the past

Back in early 2011, I had just started a new job the previous November; I had come from a tough situation where I was very unhappy, followed by six months of unemployment, and now I was just a few months in. As part of the sales support team, I was included in our annual sales meeting — where we had a tarot reader come and read for anyone who was interested. She invited us to take notes on our readings, so I jotted mine down, remembering that she’d said there were lots of good things happening for me (“you’re very happy in your relationship”). I was also dating a new guy, so lots of things were new and exciting. (We broke up about a month later, but I’m still at the company, several promotions later.)

The notes for the reading were lost, but every so often I would wonder — I knew I’d written the cards down and saved them, but what exactly did they say? She’d given me her business card and encouraged me to study tarot, but I’ve long forgotten her name and long lost the card.

In the move from one apartment to the other this spring, as I went digging through my papers and boxes and folders, I found my notes from the spread, and what I wrote down as the takeaway from the reading. Looking at it now, it looks like there was a three-card spread to start it off, then a twelve-card spread to go more in depth. Also based on the notes I took, it looks like she went card-by-card instead of a reading where she drew them together:

Past – Hierophant – mentors
Center – Empress – children!
Strength – soothe savage

4 Swords – rest, relax, recuperated
Knight Cups – moving forward
7 Swords – get out before it’s ugly
2 Coins – budgeting
W of Fortune – good luck!
6 Wands – leader, best boss
6 Swords – relocate; pregnant
4 Cups – picky, emotional connection
7 Cups – creativity good
Ace Wands – make it happen
The Star – good at what I do
Q of Cups – very happy in relationships

Looking at it now, and knowing what I know now, I wonder how I (the note-taker, the one who ultimately interpreted my takeaway) arrived at those conclusions, and what I would read in those cards now for the 2011 me I remember. I pulled them out of my deck and sat with them for a bit, and here’s where I’ve landed:

Past – Hierophant. You’ve come out of a community that could have mentors for you; there’s still leadership and guidance available to you in your career, even if it’s not the same as your past.
Present – The Empress. This is a place of juicy creativity and creation; you’re feeling more free and encouraged to try new things, especially by the women and mothers in your life.
Future – Strength. You may feel the need to show your strength by hardness and might, but strength comes from vulnerability, trust, and partnership. Work with others and show your strength in your tenderness.

The twelve card spread is a little more complex.

Starting with the two Majors, the Wheel of Fortune and the Star, it’s clearly a time of transition but also recovery from a difficult situation. The Wheel has turned and now I’m past the Tower and into the Star; the Four of Swords also mirrors the message of recovery, while the Six of Swords chimes in on the difficult transition, especially since (at least in this layout) it’s right above and leads into the Star. The Seven of Cups and the Four of Cups show that I’ve had lots of decisions in front of me (Seven), and sometimes I’ve gotten a little stubborn and ignored what’s in front of me in favor of what I’d rather imagine (Four). But now, things are a little more balanced, especially in terms of money (Two of Pentacles), and I’m feeling strong in my desire to do good work (Ace of Wands) and be recognized for it (Six of Wands). At the same time, I have to be careful not to feel like I’m getting away with something, or that I want too much more than I can take on (Seven of Swords). Finally, yes, there is a relationship that feels good emotionally for now, but there may be a bit of an imbalance in where we’re each coming from it and how strong our feelings are (Knight of Cups, Queen of Cups).

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