the rws is mad at me

It’s fair to say that the RWS is not the deck I reach for most often; I’ve clicked well with the Wanderer’s Tarot and the Wild Unknown, I’m intrigued by the challenges of the Ophidia Rosa, and the Mucha deck is a nice RWS variation that, admittedly, I haven’t played with as much yet. That said, I don’t know if any of those decks (except maybe the Mucha) are “crowd-friendly” enough to feel comfortable reading for others with, especially strangers/acquaintances. Something to noodle on.

In December, I went to a friend’s house (who gave me the Mucha deck), and while I had my own RWS deck in my purse, I used hers for a handful of three-card readings. Maybe a mistake? At any rate, all of the cards I pulled were ones I wasn’t as familiar with — cups, pentacles, and court cards. It almost felt like I was being punished for using someone else’s deck, and I stumbled and stuttered through the readings.

Today I had mine in my bag (in the hopes of offering a reading to another friend, but the opportunity never came up, especially after this instance), and while I was waiting for her to show up to the coffee shop, I went through a pretty massive shuffle. I’d split the Major Arcana out back in October for two card Major draws for Halloween (I wasn’t comfortable using all seventy-eight), and still hadn’t integrated it back into the deck. I went through and shuffled, split, shuffled, and split, and sure enough, I got more cups, pentacles, and court cards. Thanks a lot.

The court cards are still my weak spot — we’re studying them in class next week, and I’m looking forward to focusing on them more — but I’ve been enjoying the Wild Soul Healing episodes that cover them.

Anyway, during a long walk home, I thought and thought about these cards and how they flow together, and what’s going on with me.

Right now things are pretty settled and rooted in terms of the tangible things in my life — I’ve been in my job for over eight years, and in my apartment for almost four. The roots I’ve planted are strong, which has been hard for me in this year of the Chariot, and with all of the Wands I’ve been pulling everywhere else. But just because a King is strong, it doesn’t mean he’s always right.

And so I’ve been looking and wondering, peeking at jobs and visiting new apartments, with lots of possibilities opening up ahead of me. What can or should I pick? What’s actually real and what’s just me fantasizing? If I choose to start over, whether it’s my job or my home, am I going to find myself in a situation worse than the one I’m in now? There are so many choices, so many cups to pick.

The hope, then, is that the cup I do pick is one full of joy, curiosity, and new beginnings. There’s something magical and unexpected coming; I just need to have the bravery to look beyond what is comfortable and settled.

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